2014: A Year of Love and Trust

A New Year of love and trust is essential to your well-being. Instead of the ephemeral resolutions of the season, trusting yourself and others enough to know that you are worthy of love is life-changing.  Three tools for daily use in the New Year invite you to do just that.
“I am because you are” is at the heart of the African wisdom tradition of Ubuntu. It says that a person is only a person in the context of others.  It is a way of life in which trusting in your magnificence is as essential to your life as it is for others to claim for themselves.
Across the country the most frequent questions asked of me have to do with how we love ourselves and others; how to be worthy of love and goodness. The questions reflect a widespread yearning for a more robust experience of life. In the spirit of “I am because you are” these three tools are a yearlong companion for actualizing a year of more fulsome love and trust.

Across the country the most frequent questions asked of me have to do with how we love ourselves and others; how to be worthy of love and goodness.

1. Love yourself with intention. Instead of assuming that the deeply ingrained messages of conditional love are the norm or that you are less worthy of love than others choose to trust in your unconditional worthiness of love.

Each day name a quality or quirk that marks who you are and name why it makes you lovable.
Decades ago a wise man insisted that I do this exercise in front of a mirror each day. At first I thought it was a trite suggestion. The act of looking into my own eyes and naming something lovable was the threshold to moving beyond the unexamined internalized messages about why I was not as worthy of love as others. Find a trusted person with whom to share what you begin to name and love.

2. Discover the goodness in others.  The journey to love and trust does not exist in a vacuum and is not about narcissism. When you love and trust your own magnificence your own foibles become part of a wide-angled lens of your life.  With fresh compassion and tenderness toward yourself and others “I am because you are” becomes an invitation to discover the goodness in others.

Like many, my life was once blinded by assumptions, biases and easy judgment about others.
I chose to practice suspending those arrogant thoughts in order to discover a commonality of goodness with others. It revealed a more life-giving way of being in which the goodness of those with whom I differ is as important to our mutual well-being as vibrant disagreements are.

3. Detach from toxic people. Loving and trusting in yourself and others is a filter for responding to the abusive, bullying or toxic behavior of some. It illuminates the reality that such behaviors have little consciousness about “I am because you are.”  Instead, their actions diminish or deny the magnificence found in others and themselves. It is not your responsibility to invest in changing their behavior by putting your own life on lockdown.

For your sake and theirs detach. Unlike the choice to be trapped in anger or resentment, loving detachment from another person happens when you entrust their well-being to the Universe, God or a Higher Power.
Decades after detaching from a toxic relationship the person and I reconnected. She had done the inner work of choosing to change her behavior and we were able to forge a life-giving relationship. Detachment honored the truth that “I am because you are” with the hope of new love and trust emerging in the future.
Loving intention, discovering goodness and healthy detachment are tools for everyday use. They invite a New Year and life of richly textured relationships.

You are more fully alive and magnificent when fear of others is replaced by the choices to love and trust.

5 Things to Know on Friday the 13th.

The ultimate holiday stocking stuffer: $400 million Mega Millions payout

Will Friday the 13th (the last of 2013) be lucky for Mega Millions hopefuls? After failing to hit a winner since Oct. 1, Friday's lottery drawing jackpot has swollen to $400 million, the second-largest in Mega Millions' history and the fifth-largest jackpot ever. Depending on ticket sales, lottery officials could hike the jackpot to $425 million or more Thursday. While the odds of winning are just 1 in 259 million, ticket sales are surging ahead of the 11 p.m. drawing for what could be the ultimate Christmas stocking stuffer, worth a lump sum, post-tax $144.9 million.

Geminid meteor shower will be the best light show of the year

Those willing to endure some cold and stay up past their bedtimes are about to be treated to the annual Geminid meteor shower. This year's shower begins to peak just after midnight Thursday (the early-morning hours of Friday) and lasts through dawn. The 48 hours of prime viewing will continue through the predawn hours of Saturday. Falling stars should be visible beginning mid-to-late evening and ending at dawn both nights.

Experts wonder what's next for Kim Jong Un after uncle's execution

The dramatic downfall of Kim Jong Un's uncle, Jang Song Thaek, who had been considered the second-most-powerful figure in North Korea, surprised even veteran observers of the country. While many analysts agree the move was part of a purge to consolidate Kim Jong Un's rule, they say the wider implications for this tightly sealed state remain as tough to fathom as ever. "No one can be sure what this young leader may do," said Tong Kim, a North Korea expert at Korea University in Seoul.

Bipartisan budget deal heads to the Senate

After winning broad bipartisan support in the House of Representatives and passing 332-94, the two-year budget framework must now be approved by the Senate. The deal eliminates the threat of a government shutdown through fiscal year 2015 and modestly reduces the deficit over the next decade, although it does not affect spending on entitlement programs like Social Security and Medicare. A vote on the agreement is expected next week in the Senate, where Senate Majority Whip Dick Durbin, D-Ill., cautioned that Democrats will need at least five Republicans to support the package to ensure they can overcome a filibuster threat. So far, the only GOP senators who have publicly stated their position are opposed to the package.

John Kerry meets with Israel's Benjamin Netanyahu to push peace talks

Continuing a furious pace of shuttle diplomacy, U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry is meeting with Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu in his latest push for Mideast peace Friday morning. It is Kerry's ninth trip of the year to the region amid a rare snowstorm that blanketed Jerusalem. Concerned that a final status agreement may not be possible by the May target the two sides accepted when they resumed talks in August, U.S. officials say Kerry is hoping for a framework accord that would contain the principles of a comprehensive pact, but not specific details.

**How to stay healthy this winter**

It may be cold outside but winter needn't be the unhealthiest time of year for you and your family.

Here are five ways to make sure that even when your body is telling you to hibernate you can keep healthy and fit, no matter what the weather's like:

1. Eliminate your sleep debt

"On average we sleep six-and-a-half hours a night, much less than the seven to nine hours recommended," says Jessica Alexander, spokesperson at the Sleep Council, which aims to raise awareness of the importance of a good night's sleep to health and wellbeing. But in winter, we naturally sleep more, due to the longer nights. "It’s perfectly natural to adopt hibernating habits when the weather turns cold," says Jessica. "Use the time to catch up."
Read more about how to get a good night's sleep.

2. Drink more milk

You are 80% more likely to get a cold in winter so making sure your immune system is in tip-top condition is important. Milk and dairy products such as cheese, yoghurt and fromage frais are great sources of protein and vitamins A and B12. They're also an important source of calcium, which helps keep our bones strong. Try to go for semi-skimmed or skimmed milk, rather than full fat, and low-fat yoghurts.
Read more about healthy eating.

3. Eat more fruit and veg

When it’s cold and dark outside it can be tempting to fill up on unhealthy comfort food, but it’s important to ensure that you still keep your diet healthy and include five portions of fruit and veg a day. If you find yourself craving a sugary treat, try a juicy clementine or satsuma instead, or sweet dried fruits such as dates or raisins.
Winter vegetables such as carrots, parsnips, swede and turnips can be roasted, mashed or made into soup for a comforting winter meal for the whole family. Explore varieties of fruit and veg that you may not normally eat.
Read more about how to get your 5 A DAY.

4. Try new activities for the whole family

Don’t use the cold winter months as an excuse to stay in and lounge around. Instead, get out with the whole family to try out a new activity, maybe ice-skating or taking a bracing winter walk on the beach. Regular exercise helps to control your weight, boost your immune system and is a good way to break the tension that can build if the family is constantly cooped up inside the house.
Read more about different types of exercise for your and your family.

5. Have a hearty breakfast

Winter is the perfect season for porridge. Eating a warm bowlful on a cold morning isn’t just a delicious way to start your day, it also helps you to boost your intake of starchy foods and fibre, which give you energy and help you to feel fuller for longer, stopping the temptation to snack mid-morning. Oats also contain lots of vital vitamins and minerals.
Make your porridge with semi-skimmed or skimmed milk or water, and don’t add sugar or salt. Add a few dried apricots, some raisins, a sliced banana or other fruit for extra flavour and to help you hit the five-a-day target.

How to be Persistent

      Method 1 of 3: Goal accomplishment

If you've ever joined a gym on January 2nd and attended religiously until January 4th, you know tIf y

If you've ever joined a gym on January 2nd and attended religiously until January 4th, you know that persistence, while challenging, is necessary to achieve your goals. Whether you are trying to establish a new habit, shed an old one, or accomplish a larger project, it is one thing to set a goal, but quite another matter to follow through. 

    Method 2 of 3: Persisting Beyond Failure

Failure is often used as an excuse or reason to not pursue a goal or to give up easily. Yet, failure is a source of impetus when viewed constructively and it is not something to be afraid of.

        Method 3 of 3:  Being persistent when refusing 

                   or requesting something

Persistence plays an important role in your personal interactions. Whenever you make a request or a refusal, the art of persistence can help you to assert your needs and to make it clear what you will or will not do for others, as well as not giving up on seeking to persuade someone when their agreement to your request really matters.